It's Day 29, Y'all!

 

Wow, 29 days. I honestly did not think I would make it this far. I am so proud that I have. Tomorrow is technically the final day of this journey (more about that later). Since it's getting late on a school night I'm going to copy and paste what I put on my W30 forum today. Then I'll tell you where I'm going from here.

I've had ups and downs these last 29 days. Here's a bulleted list of all (most) of the things I have been experiencing.

• Cravings--not too bad. I went through a phase where I just wanted a sandwich, and walking through the bakery section of the story yesterday was tough. (but I hadn't had my lunch, and I was dealing with some hunger issues at the time)
• Sleep--WAY better. I go to sleep earlier (around 9:30), and my head barely hits the pillow before I'm out. I sometimes wake up to use the bathroom, but am able to go right back to sleep. When my alarm goes off (at 5:00), I am wide awake and ready to start the day. I'm even getting up around 6:30 on weekends.
• Energy--I wouldn't actually call it Tiger Blood, but I don't have the energy swings throughout the day.
• Focus--WAY better. I used to use adderroll for my ADD, but when I moved to PA 5 years ago, my doctor said that she'd rather see me try to control it with diet. I ignored her diet advice and have complained for 5 years that I need a new doctor who will prescribe adderroll for me. Guess what, seems she may have been right.;)  Sometimes Bruce says I'm too focused (I tend to hyper focus on my school work, and he doesn't like it when he's watching TV and I can't discuss what's happening in the show)
• Body Aches--getting better every day. I don't exercise...yet. I do way too much couch/desk sitting working on schoolwork, reading W30 posts, looking for recipes, etc. I haven't had a headache since day 2 or 3, and my knees, back, hips are not as achy. (I actually used to dread bending over to pick up the cat's dish first thing in the morning because it hurt my back so much, but I noticed during the last couple of days that it's not a problem anymore)
• Cooking--it's a lot of work but except for explaining to Bruce why I can never do anything on Sundays, it hasn't been too bad. I enjoy making all the new recipes (but I don't like all the cleanup). I've found some weekly go tos. I'm loving Golden Cauliflower soup from "The Clothes Make the Girl," and the Kahlua pig is a weekly staple now.
• Mood--I went through a couple of "Kill all the Things" days. My biggest complaint about mood is that I am hyper focused on myself, and I am not giving enough to Bruce. I know this, I try to fix it, but right now in my life I am having trouble giving him the focus I should. (It might be easier if he was a little more interested/supportive of my health journey)
• Eating out--Friday nights used to be our "date night" to celebrate the end of the work week. One of our favorite places is an Asian buffet with hibachi and sushi. This wasn't a problem during the summer because I didn't mind cooking on a Friday when I was home all day, but when school started a couple of weeks ago, Friday was horrible. I was in a funk all day, and that night I stayed compliant but just grabbed enough food to stop hunger-not to enjoy. I grumped at Bruce all evening and went to bed early in tears. I woke up on Saturday determined to do some research so we could eat out the next Friday. I worried all week, but this last Friday we went to Longhorn Steakhouse. I was terrified about what they were doing to my food in the kitchen, but I restrained myself from going back and cooking it myself. I had steamed broccoli (no butter spray), a dry baked, sweet potato, and the largest prime rib they had (minus the au jus and horseradish sauce). I'm still afraid that they did something non-complaint to that meat, but I ate it. The basket of fresh bread sitting next to me, the yummy dishes all around me, the molten lava cake that Bruce got for dessert--it all made me unjustifiably angry, but it was a step in the right direction. I survived it, and with a little more research I will learn how to know which foods I can have at different restaurants.
• Body/Weight--I've managed to stay off the scale and haven't measured, but I am really afraid that there hasn't been a change. My clothes are not fitting any differently. I have an apple shape with that big belly thing going on. My belly still sticks out farther than my boobs. Even though I'm trying to convince myself that weight isn't the way to determine success, in reality all the good that I've felt/am feeling is going to be easy to forget if that scale doesn't show a decent difference on Wednesday morning.
• Day 31--I'm terrified.  I have not conquered my relationship with food. I've binged three times in the last 29 days--cantaloupe, watermelon, and grapes. Sure, W30 compliant-ish, but the binging habit is still there.

Where I'm going from here. I'm going to continue W30 for at least another two weeks. My eating habits were so far out of control before I started that there is no way I can turn it all around in 30 days. I am just starting to feel comfortable with the foods and recipes, so maybe now I can spend less time focused on what I'm going to eat and spend more time really evaluating how and when I'm eating. I've been more focused these 29 days on staying compliant, and haven't always made sure I was getting the right portions of protein, veggies, and fruit. I want to focus more on that.

I'm also wondering if salt is one of the issues. I'm on blood pressure meds (have been for 20+ years) and haven't been to the doc this month to have it checked. It does seem like I've been eating a lot of salt this month, though. I LOVE salt. I'm not getting it from processed foods anymore, and I've been using that as an excuse for feeding my body more sea salt. I'm drinking tons of water, so it should be flushing out, but that's one of the things I'll be more conscious of in this next phase.


So, here are my goals going forward:

• Continue W30 compliance for a minimum of two more weeks and then re-evaluate
• Add exercise--in the form of my Wii Fit. I know, it's not very strenuous, but it's a start
• Eat out once a week to practice ordering healthy foods
• Make sure every meal has the correct ratio of protein, veggies, and fruit.
• Focus more on deep green veggies
• In this new phase a binge (even on compliant foods) equals a restart (of the 2 weeks)

I will be weighing and measuring on Wednesday morning, and I'll let you know how it went in addition to all of the above. I'm warning you not to have too high of expectations, though.